Police Raid Pub Looking for Holy Grail


So apparently after somebody called in an anonymous tip-off a team of British police and a ficken K9 unit arrived on Sunday morning at the Crown Inn, a village pub in the rural English county of Herefordshire in search of The Holy Grail.

Sayith Whaaaaa?!

You read that last line correct. THE Holy Grail. They weren’t messing around either.

“They turned the place upside down. They came with fiber optic cameras to look in all the corners and nooks and crannies, and under the floorboards … they were clearly serious about it,” the pub’s landlady, Di Franklyn, said.

Well I would be to Di. It’s the Holy Fricken Grail man. It’s not like this is some sippy cup that was stolen from the clearance section of T.J. Maxx. IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!

Police said the relic, a dark wooden cup kept inside a blue velvet bag, had been stolen from a house in the area about a month ago. Photographs available online show a bowl-shaped vessel with around half its side missing. No word yet on the condition of Sean Connery but it is assumed that he was shot and left for dead.

We get a few rogues and scallywags in the pub, but no one who’s quite on the level of stealing a priceless ancient artifact,” Franklyn said.

I can not begin to explain how awesome this story is. First of all police think they have a lead on The Holy Grail. They send eight guys to go get it, and a police dog mind you. The Holy Grail was stolen from a house in Herefordshire and taken to a local pub full of “rogues and scallywags” are you fricken kidding me! The guy actually used the words rogues and scallywags! They stole the Holy Grail and took it to a pirate pub straight out of a Disney move. Then police show up with a police dog, bust the place up and use fiber optic cameras to look over every nook and corner of the place. They didn’t find it till one of the officers turned into a mummy when he ordered a martini and drank from the wrong cup!

Okay so I may have made that last bit up. Either way I’ve been on hold with the University of Chicago trying to get connected with Dr. Jones for 4 hours now.